Post by darksazzo on Mar 14, 2006 9:50:08 GMT
From our findings in ICT this morning This is a silly way of saying im wanking and anyone know if Barry Chuckle is dead?
After another mediocre performance at the Barnsley Civic Hall Barry Chuckle finds himself in a hotel room with a chorus girls called Lola. Sporting a phony French accent Lola is looking for passion but Barry is a little innocent in these sorts of matters.
By Peter Aveyard , 1/9/2006
My night of passion with the Chuckle brothers
LOLA: Oh Barry you performance was manifique.
BARRY: Oh did you think so?
LOLA: Yes - I mean oui and now your are going to give another great performance no?
BARRY: No? why not. I’m really in the mood for it.
LOLA: So am I Barry show me what you are made of - big boy!
BARRY: Well if you like. Watch me juggle the contents of the fruit basket?
LOLA: Is this some pre mating ritual in this area?
BARRY: Pardon?
LOLA: I mean is this how you get a girl in the mood?
BARRY: err Don’t you want me to juggle these bananas?
LOLA: No Barry I would like you to juggle these -
Lola rips off her blouse and thrusts her self at Barry
BARRY: CRIKEY!
Barry bolts for the bathroom and quickly phones his brother Paul on his mobile
BARRY: Paul!
PAUL: Hello
BARRY: Paul it’s me - Barry
PAUL: Barry who?
BARRY: Barry Chuckle your brother!
PAUL: Oh Barry yes. I didn’t see you after the show. Where are you?
BARRY: I’m in a hotel room with Lola
PAUL: Lola - the show girl?
BARRY: Yes
PAUL: With yellow feathers in her hair?
BARRY: Yes
PAUL: And a dress cut down to there?
BARRY: Not any more
PAUL: Eh?
BARRY: She just ripped it open and exposed her bits
PAUL: What bits?
BARRY: You know
PAUL: Oh I see. Well what are you complaining about?
BARRY: I’m confused, what do I do?
PAUL: Just get back in there and enjoy your self. Silly you.
BARY: Silly me.
Barry comes back from the bathroom
LOLA: Barry you are back. Take this and put it on quickly. I can not wait any longer.
Lola hands Barry a condom.
BARRY: Right o’
Barry goes back to the bathroom. Muffled sounds of a struggle and latex stretching. Barry comes out from the bathroom with the condom stretched over his head.
LOLA: Oh Barry now we can..WHAT are you doing?
BARRY: mm errr
LOLA: Speak to me Barry!
BARRY: arrghh!
LOLA: Barry your face is turning blue:
Barry collapses on the floor. Lola helps Barry remove the contraceptive from his head
BARRY: gasps That’s the last time I wear a shower cap.
LOLA: It isn’t a shower cap you fool. It’s a contraceptive
BARRY: A contra what?
LOLA: A contraceptive it is for your protection.
BARRY: Well that’s what Paul said. I just rang him again and asked what I should do with it.
LOLA: What did he say
BARRY: He said ‘ it’s for your own protection, to stop you getting into a right old mess’
LOLA: Not that sort of mess you idiot. Oh dear Barry.
BARRY: Oh dear oh dear!
LOLA: Silly you
BARRY: Silly Me. What now
LOLA: Come sit next me on the bed Barry. Oh Barry let’s make love
BARRY: Crikey!
Sounds of a struggle and the familiar noises of love making.
LOLA: Oh Barry are you sure you have never done this before - ooohh ahhh!
BARRY: No - well not with anything on two legs
LOLA: Oh Barry you have very good rhythm don’t stop
BARRY: I won’t. To me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: What? gasp
BARRY: To me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: Hang on - STOP!
BARRY: What’s the matter I was just getting into the swing of it.
LOLA: What is all this ‘To me, to you, to me, to you"
BARRY: eh! Was I saying that?
LOLA: Yes
BARRY: Oh Sorry I don’t realize I’m doing it. Let’s try again
LOLA: Ok
Sound of a creaking bed
BARRY: To me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: STOP! You are doing it again. I can’t concentrate.
BARRY: Well why don’t you join in. You know what they say if you can’t beat ’em, join ‘em
LOLA: Ok let’s give it a try
BARRY: To me
LOLA: To me
BARRY: To you
LOLA: Me too
BARRY: No - it’s to me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: To You
BARRY: To me
LOLA: To me
BARRY: No no no. Hang on. Oh dear. I know I’ll phone Paul.
Barry picks up his mobile phone
BARRY: Hello Paul
PAUL: Who’s this
BARRY: It’s me Barry.
PAUL: Barry who?
BARRY: Me Barry Chuckle
PAUL: Oh yes. What do you want?
BARRY: Can you come round I need some help.
PAUL: I’ll be round in a jiffy.
Knock at the door.
BARRY: Who is it?
PAUL: It’s me Paul
BARRY: Paul who
PAUL: Paul Chuckle
BARRY: What do you want
PAUL: You asked me to come around. You said you needed a hand
BARRY: That’s right. Come in.
Paul enters the room
PAUL: What’s up
LOLA: Nothing at the moment.
BARRY: That’s the problem. We were doing the how’s-your-farther and Lola can’t get the hang of to me, to you, to me, to you.
PAUL: I see. Well Lola it’s easy watch.
Paul gets on the bed on all fours
PAUL: Look Lola this is how it’s done. Barry get behind me.
BARY: Right o.
Sound of an old fashioned car horn honk
PAUL: Eh watch were your putting that thing!
BARRY: Sorry.
PAUL: Right then. Barry makes a thrust.
BARRY: To me.
PAUL: To you
BARRY: To me
PAUL: To you. See it’s easy just keep on doing that as you passion takes you. Alright?
LOLA: Just do it one more time
PAUL: Ok Barry
BARRY: To me
PAUL: To you
BARRY: To me
PAUL: To you
Flash of light. And the click of a camera shutter
PAUL: Eh what was that
BARRY: She’s got a camera.
PAUL: What do you think you’re doing?
LOLA: This will be all over the front pages faster than you can say SILLY ME.
No more, non speaking parts, backing up you two idiots any more ha ha ha.
Sound of a door slamming and footsteps running down the hall
PAUL: Oh dear
BOTH TOGETHER: Oh dear oh dear!
After another mediocre performance at the Barnsley Civic Hall Barry Chuckle finds himself in a hotel room with a chorus girls called Lola. Sporting a phony French accent Lola is looking for passion but Barry is a little innocent in these sorts of matters.
By Peter Aveyard , 1/9/2006
My night of passion with the Chuckle brothers
LOLA: Oh Barry you performance was manifique.
BARRY: Oh did you think so?
LOLA: Yes - I mean oui and now your are going to give another great performance no?
BARRY: No? why not. I’m really in the mood for it.
LOLA: So am I Barry show me what you are made of - big boy!
BARRY: Well if you like. Watch me juggle the contents of the fruit basket?
LOLA: Is this some pre mating ritual in this area?
BARRY: Pardon?
LOLA: I mean is this how you get a girl in the mood?
BARRY: err Don’t you want me to juggle these bananas?
LOLA: No Barry I would like you to juggle these -
Lola rips off her blouse and thrusts her self at Barry
BARRY: CRIKEY!
Barry bolts for the bathroom and quickly phones his brother Paul on his mobile
BARRY: Paul!
PAUL: Hello
BARRY: Paul it’s me - Barry
PAUL: Barry who?
BARRY: Barry Chuckle your brother!
PAUL: Oh Barry yes. I didn’t see you after the show. Where are you?
BARRY: I’m in a hotel room with Lola
PAUL: Lola - the show girl?
BARRY: Yes
PAUL: With yellow feathers in her hair?
BARRY: Yes
PAUL: And a dress cut down to there?
BARRY: Not any more
PAUL: Eh?
BARRY: She just ripped it open and exposed her bits
PAUL: What bits?
BARRY: You know
PAUL: Oh I see. Well what are you complaining about?
BARRY: I’m confused, what do I do?
PAUL: Just get back in there and enjoy your self. Silly you.
BARY: Silly me.
Barry comes back from the bathroom
LOLA: Barry you are back. Take this and put it on quickly. I can not wait any longer.
Lola hands Barry a condom.
BARRY: Right o’
Barry goes back to the bathroom. Muffled sounds of a struggle and latex stretching. Barry comes out from the bathroom with the condom stretched over his head.
LOLA: Oh Barry now we can..WHAT are you doing?
BARRY: mm errr
LOLA: Speak to me Barry!
BARRY: arrghh!
LOLA: Barry your face is turning blue:
Barry collapses on the floor. Lola helps Barry remove the contraceptive from his head
BARRY: gasps That’s the last time I wear a shower cap.
LOLA: It isn’t a shower cap you fool. It’s a contraceptive
BARRY: A contra what?
LOLA: A contraceptive it is for your protection.
BARRY: Well that’s what Paul said. I just rang him again and asked what I should do with it.
LOLA: What did he say
BARRY: He said ‘ it’s for your own protection, to stop you getting into a right old mess’
LOLA: Not that sort of mess you idiot. Oh dear Barry.
BARRY: Oh dear oh dear!
LOLA: Silly you
BARRY: Silly Me. What now
LOLA: Come sit next me on the bed Barry. Oh Barry let’s make love
BARRY: Crikey!
Sounds of a struggle and the familiar noises of love making.
LOLA: Oh Barry are you sure you have never done this before - ooohh ahhh!
BARRY: No - well not with anything on two legs
LOLA: Oh Barry you have very good rhythm don’t stop
BARRY: I won’t. To me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: What? gasp
BARRY: To me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: Hang on - STOP!
BARRY: What’s the matter I was just getting into the swing of it.
LOLA: What is all this ‘To me, to you, to me, to you"
BARRY: eh! Was I saying that?
LOLA: Yes
BARRY: Oh Sorry I don’t realize I’m doing it. Let’s try again
LOLA: Ok
Sound of a creaking bed
BARRY: To me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: STOP! You are doing it again. I can’t concentrate.
BARRY: Well why don’t you join in. You know what they say if you can’t beat ’em, join ‘em
LOLA: Ok let’s give it a try
BARRY: To me
LOLA: To me
BARRY: To you
LOLA: Me too
BARRY: No - it’s to me, to you, to me, to you
LOLA: To You
BARRY: To me
LOLA: To me
BARRY: No no no. Hang on. Oh dear. I know I’ll phone Paul.
Barry picks up his mobile phone
BARRY: Hello Paul
PAUL: Who’s this
BARRY: It’s me Barry.
PAUL: Barry who?
BARRY: Me Barry Chuckle
PAUL: Oh yes. What do you want?
BARRY: Can you come round I need some help.
PAUL: I’ll be round in a jiffy.
Knock at the door.
BARRY: Who is it?
PAUL: It’s me Paul
BARRY: Paul who
PAUL: Paul Chuckle
BARRY: What do you want
PAUL: You asked me to come around. You said you needed a hand
BARRY: That’s right. Come in.
Paul enters the room
PAUL: What’s up
LOLA: Nothing at the moment.
BARRY: That’s the problem. We were doing the how’s-your-farther and Lola can’t get the hang of to me, to you, to me, to you.
PAUL: I see. Well Lola it’s easy watch.
Paul gets on the bed on all fours
PAUL: Look Lola this is how it’s done. Barry get behind me.
BARY: Right o.
Sound of an old fashioned car horn honk
PAUL: Eh watch were your putting that thing!
BARRY: Sorry.
PAUL: Right then. Barry makes a thrust.
BARRY: To me.
PAUL: To you
BARRY: To me
PAUL: To you. See it’s easy just keep on doing that as you passion takes you. Alright?
LOLA: Just do it one more time
PAUL: Ok Barry
BARRY: To me
PAUL: To you
BARRY: To me
PAUL: To you
Flash of light. And the click of a camera shutter
PAUL: Eh what was that
BARRY: She’s got a camera.
PAUL: What do you think you’re doing?
LOLA: This will be all over the front pages faster than you can say SILLY ME.
No more, non speaking parts, backing up you two idiots any more ha ha ha.
Sound of a door slamming and footsteps running down the hall
PAUL: Oh dear
BOTH TOGETHER: Oh dear oh dear!